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  • Irina Vlada

Meditation is the Practice of Self Love

Updated: Dec 12, 2020

What is meditation to me...

  • Meditation is about building the relationship with yourself.

  • It invites you to get to know yourself in a conscious way.

  • It invites you to begin to observe your internal state, the world of your personal emotions and feelings.

  • It invites you to become aware of the driving forces of your attention. When you begin to see where your attention goes, you then can begin to consciously direct it.

We call it self regulation, self mastery if you become able to manage the process. It is very easy to say, yet the most difficult thing on the planet to do! The moment you sit for meditation with intention to become still and silent, in that exact moment you realize how loud and hectic the internal space can be at times.


Observe. Do not judge. Do not run away...


Sit. Listen. Stay. Stay here... stay.


Who would you be running away from? Ultimately, your very self.

  • Can you stay with uncomfortable?

  • Can you stay with pain?

  • Can you stay with doubt?

  • Can you stay with anger?

  • Can you stay even if you can’t stay?

  • Can you stay with the inability to stay?...

In the moment that you choose to “stay”, you open the door to acceptance. You begin to observe and allow all of the feelings, thoughts, and experiences. You begin to build relationships with what is and that is the beginning of self love.


Meditation is the practice of self love. How?


Self love is not spas and massages or ice cream, it is not the moments of pleasure, external pleasure, it is not the reward system for your external achievements. Self love is the space within, where you openly meet every part of you. And when I say openly, I mean in an accepting way.


Meditation will raise your self awareness. And self awareness will make you face things about yourself you’ve never seen before or been trying to avoid (consciously or subconsciously). Things that might not feel the best. Things that you are not proud of. Things that you wish you would never experience... it can be frightening!


And that...right there...the very frightening moment is an invitation to shift into self love! Open your heart and accept all of it. Lovable and unlovable. Beautiful and the rest...no judgments, no criticisms, no need to be anyone else but who you are - Right now!


No need to change! No need to win your own approval. No need to have any other experience but the one you have at the moment. That’s what meditation can give you. It is building a relationship with yourself in this very moment and, therefore, with the moment itself, with Life that is happening with you right now. With you and through you.


I used to believe that self love is the act of some kind of perfection! External perfection, of course. I have to become worthy, I have to change! I used to tell myself - when I do A, B, C then I will then love myself. Or when I become more spiritual, or when I build a successful business, or when I stop consuming alcohol, or when I buy a house, or when I workout 4 times a week, or when I have a PHD, and as I was moving towards my achievements, the feeling of love was not rising in me...


What happens then, do you think??? If we can’t get it within we will begin to chase it without! We begin to search for LOVE outside of ourselves. We demand attention and respect from others. We are ready to squeeze Love out of people around us, so we can feel better about ourselves. And if we can’t, if they are not willing, ready or available to give it to us, we turn to other sources... we turn to work, to shopping, to consumption... we begin to operate from the space of lack! Space of emptiness and internal inability to love.


To love oneself. To accept. To embrace. To smile at what is.


So I invite us to see that, to realize that and to turn inward, in order to find or if can’t be found create the state of love that we are searching for. Self love eventually becomes a practice, not a destination.


And the relationship with others becomes the relationship with yourself and a reflection of that.


When you begin to meet the world from an internal state of abundance, you will continue to create more of that! Abundance! Because the main ingredient of your world creation becomes Love...



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